Happy in a long term relationship, having met somebody on Plenty Of Fish, it’s been a long while now since I did any on line dating. It’s a scary, daunting scene and really not the ideal way to meet a partner. Every date is like Groundhog day. It’s so repetitive and it’s damn hard work looking for somebody who ticks all the boxes. Probably the concept of Mr and Mrs Right don’t actually exist, only in our minds and in our dreams. It’s what you chose to make of the situations you find yourself in, the people you stumble across, putting aside the niggling things that aren’t quite right but going for the overall aura of the person, seeing the good in someone rather than the negatives.
A friend introduced me to on line dating in 2008. I joined the first generation of online daters, or maybe a lot of crusty people who had been tooling around the various sites since it all began with Match.com in 1995, hoping to find the love of their life or a bit on the side or just a companion to share a bottle of wine with from time to time. Back in 2008 people seemed to be more positive about finding a match. They made more effort. But today, six generations on, it seems that everybody wheeling around these sites has been reduced to tortuous wry cynicism of the highest order. Emails ping back and forward simply saying “Hi, how are you?” And it barely gets beyond these initial pleasantries because people can’t be bothered to invest time writing a full and imaginative email if it’s not going to be read. What a shame it’s come to this. Perhaps we should go back to hoping we meet somebody in the normal course of our day (heck does that actually happen?) or personal ads in newspapers; the first ones appeared as long ago as 1690 and the next development in this industry didn’t occur until 1975 when questionnaire based agencies sprung up.
There was an interesting discussion on Radio 4 this morning about a new dating site called “Hater.” Yes you read correctly. Well this will certainly appeal to the cynics out there, me included if it all goes tits up with my man. It’s a dating app’ that aims to match singles over what they don’t like rather than what they do, bonding over mutual hatred.
I actually would find this so much easier. We all like pubs, restaurants, visits to the beach. Dull, dull, dull. Ive heard it all before. But what people don’t know about me is that I hate big slobbery dogs, Jeremy Corbyn, New Age clothing, tattoos, body piercings, reed beds, working in an office, coffee in the afternoon, tea in the morning, carrot cake, the Toby Carvery (and the Harvester) leather sofas, floor boards in a lounge, tumble dryers (the launderette is a nice place to dry clothes – oh and meet single men come to that!) and wired bras.
My book ‘The Catholic Woman’s Dying Wish and ‘Holiday’ are about my dating conquests and challenges with very difficult obsessive, hard to live with men. There’s no perfect man out there so give up before on line dating reduces you to a nervous breakdown.
Love from Mrs Menopausal Cynic from Haywards Heath who rode topless at the local fun fair when I still had boobs to be proud of.
‘Holiday’ : UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Holiday-Can-sync-will-sink-ebook/dp/B01MXYJJ3V/ USA: https://www.amazon.com/Holiday-Can-sync-will-sink-ebook/dp/B01MXYJJ3V/
‘The Catholic Woman’s Dying Wish’ : UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Catholic-Womans-Dying-Wish-Things-ebook/dp/B014DP7HQW/ USA: https://www.amazon.com/Catholic-Womans-Dying-Wish-Things-ebook/dp/B014DP7HQW/