This is chapter 2 of D is for Death My First Baby’s Death: the real life story that inspired ‘Every Family Has One’. Heres the link:
I continued working until close to my due date. Sometimes the children were really sweet and brought in knitted booties for the baby and other gifts and they were constantly asking what I was going to call the baby. But there were some nasty kids as there are in every school and a few of them laughed behind my back whispering that my bump looked more like a spare tyre than a baby. As the pregnancy progressed people kept saying ‘you really don’t look pregnant. Where are you hiding it? It’s a tiny bump.’ But this was my first baby. How was I supposed to know how big I should look?! I didn’t know what normal was.
I had been going for regular scans. At the 20 week scan the sonographer told me to come back for a further check in a month’s time. She said she needed to double check the dates. I wasn’t worried. At 24 weeks I went back and they said the same thing. ‘We just need to double check the dates are correct. Come back again in another 4 weeks.’ So I went again to be told the same thing again! I kept asking me ‘when did you say your last period was?’ ‘Are you absolutely certain?’ Then they would frown and study their paperwork and do some measurements. I was never worried. They just seemed a bit incompetent.
I was asked to go for another scan at 37 weeks. The sonographer spent more time looking at the screen this time and then went out of the room to talk with a doctor. They came back in, studied the screen again and he turned to me and said ‘If your dates are correct and let’s assume they are your baby is only going to weigh the size of a bag of sugar at full term.’
The size of a bag of sugar. I tried to visualize a bag of sugar but I don’t take sugar in tea and coffee and it had been a long time since I’d seen a bag of sugar! It meant nothing to me. I looked at them both blankly.
‘Don’t worry’ they said. ‘About 5% of babies are exceptionally small there’s probably nothing wrong but we’ll refer you to King’s College in London for a more detailed scan. You’ll be seeing the top consultant in the country – Professor Nicolaides.’
My first thought was what have I done wrong? I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I took folic acid tablets. I ate healthily throughout the pregnancy. I was admitted over night for observation and the next day my husband Neil drove us up to Kings. The queue outside Nicolaides room filled the whole corridor and reminded me of the queues in third world countries waiting to board a Mercy ship to see the visiting surgeon. A notice flashed above ‘We apologise for the delay. Waiting time is currently running two hours behind time.’
When it was my time to go into the consulting room I lay down on the couch and was amazed to see a much clearer picture of my baby. There were six doctors in white coats around the couch. They were training doctors.
Nicolaides studied the screen for some time then turned to me. ‘How old are you?’
‘29’ I replied
‘And when was your last period?’
We were back in a merry go round of the same questions but he wasn’t telling me anything new.
Then the professor turned to his team of trainee doctors.
‘It is wrong to keep altering a woman’s due dates. Once is acceptable. Twice maybe. But beyond that raises a concern. This mother shouldn’t have had her due dates altered so many times.’
Then he turned to me and broke the news of what was happening. The room started to spin. I asked for cup of tea….
Find out tomorrow what the professor told me..