D is for Ditch Damn Debt ridden Christmas this December.
It’s that time of year again. People are mentioning the big C word. The leaves are soggy on the pavements, there’s a damp feel to the air, the clocks have changed and you know that Christmas is fast approaching.
Ditch the C word and go for the D word instead. D is for December: crisp days, beautiful blue skies, furry hats and a warm fire with a glass of mulled wine. Go on admit it. You’re dreading Christmas. Many of us are. You’re not alone. From the aisles of Sainsbury’s to the station platforms everyone is moaning. So Dotch Damn Debt ridden Christmas this December!
Maybe you’re in debt, struggling to pay household bills. It’s November and your credit card hasn’t been paid in several months. There’s no hope of wiping the debt at this time of year though, sorry to remind you. Never mind ah, convention says that you must waste more money, throughout December on rubbish presents that nobody wants or needs, together with a tree for your lounge and silly trimmings like paper crackers with little fiddly toys inside that break or have no use whatsoever. Oh and you must send out a card to about 40 of your friends with the boring, dull words HAPPY CHRISTMAS inside so that they can stand it on their mantelpiece until it falls down or curls, to remind them that they have lots of people out there thinking about them. You don’t need to write anything else in the card apart from your name and best wishes. Not many folk bother with a letter as well. Way too much effort.
Bah humbug to you all! I think Christmas should be ditched, dumped. Let’s try it one year and see how we get on. If you want to buy your loved ones a present buy them one. But give it to them on a surprise day, just not the 25th December. That’s not very original. Do it when they are not expecting a gift.
Turkey. What a horrible meat. It’s dry and feathery and gives you bad wind. It’s also not exactly imaginative. Christmas dinner is just a glorified Sunday lunch, that’s all. Brussels and parsnips are fart inducing too.
Please don’t kid yourself that you are celebrating Christ’s birth. Festivals on this date began among the upper classes in ancient Rome; a celebration on December 25th for the sun god Mithra. Christians hijacked the festival – which is why the Puritans banned it in 1645 and also so did the first settlers to America in 1660. The Puritans were so contemptuous of Christmas that they called it ‘Foolstide.’ Mind you these strict Puritans were a party pooperish lot and didn’t like the drunkenness, debauchery and decadence (all D words!) associated with Christmas.
Drinking to excess at Christmas leads to inevitable road deaths, arguments and fights and injuries. As a society we encourage drunkenness by perpetuating the farce called Christmas. Walls of lager as you enter Tesco in the weeks leading up to the occasion, adverts on TV tempting you to stock up on crates of the stuff as you sit there, like a stuffed turkey waiting for the 25th, bloating your cheeks out with Roses and Quality Street.
Are you a socialist? A true socialist/communist; not a namby pampy champagne drinking Blairite? Someone with leanings towards Corbyneconomics? Well you’re a hypocrite if you celebrate Christmas because the real reason we have this nonsensical festival each year is to prop up capitalism. Christmas is about MONEY. Don’t pretend it’s about love and peace. What is so peaceful about a long queue in Sainsbury’s on Christmas Eve?And love…. well 1 in 5 couples will seek advice on divorce in the week following Christmas. Christmas is fraught with quarrels, usually about petty matters.
Christmas is vital to the economy and lines the pockets of those high up in our big corporations while making the poor even poorer. So come on Corbyn show us your true colours and ban Christmas! Do we really need it?
Enter ‘Christmas’ into Google and this is top of the search engine:
http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/christmas
And this is 3rd:
http://www.johnlewis.com/christmas/c5000025?rdr=1
I rest my bloody case!
Signed
Scrooge!